Krisanna Jeffery
Registered Clinical Counselor, B.S.W, M.Ed

 

Personal Growth Leads to  Healthy Relationships

But where to Focus? 

We often get the bug to take a course or get our life together. But the choices are endless and it can be hard to decide which activity or course would be best for us. This article is about putting your self to the wellness challenge. Recognizing where we are out of balance and focusing on that area will create a higher degree of wellness. And naturally, the more balanced we are personally, the better our relationships will be. 

The challenge involves looking at four general areas of your life and rating how balanced your life is at this time. Caution: Examining your life in this way could lead to change! We start with the most obvious: 

The Physical Self: Naturally, this involves looking at how you treat your body. Without a well nourished, rested, exercised, oxygenated body, you won’t have the energy to fully participate in your relationships. You’ve all experienced this when you’ve been sick. Not attending to this aspect of self is a way of saying, “I am not important.” Relationships require physical energy. Do you need to create more physical activity in your life? 

The Emotional Self: This involves the concept of emotional intelligence or how well you handle your emotions. Are you able to access and acknowledge emotion? Have you developed the skills necessary to share feelings appropriately to create intimacy? Or do you repress uncomfortable feelings with addictive or compulsive behaviors? According to the current expert on Emotional Intelligence, Dr. Daniel Goleman, we can increase our emotional intelligence skills at any point in our lives. Only with a high degree of emotional skills can we ever hope to achieve great relationships. Do you need help in identifying and expressing feelings? 

The Mental Self: This aspect of self involves paying attention to our mental needs. Like the physical self, the mind requires different things at different times. Sometimes it requires stimulation, at other times calming. Many people don’t realize they have the power to slow the mind down and to take control of their mood. Instead, they just let their mind run wild.  Do you need to learn meditation, tai chi or self-hypnosis? 

The Spiritual Self:  In my experience with people, this aspect of self is often feared and misunderstood. Many people have shared with me that they have no spiritual beliefs, believing that because they are not practicing a religion that they are not spiritual. I explain there is a difference. And when I ask if they believe in something bigger then themselves, they always say yes. When we explore that further, they find they have more spiritual beliefs then they realized. How well do you nurture your spiritual self? How connected are you to purpose and meaning in your life? How open are you to receiving information about these things?  

While all aspects of self are intertwined with one another, they are all as important as each other. Equal energy needs to be applied to each aspect to create balance. Each is critically important to the whole. Most of us favor development in some areas leaving the other areas weak and underdeveloped. As you look at your lifestyle in these respects, I’m sure it’s clear where you might be out of balance. After that, it’s about deciding to make a change. Both you and your relationships will benefit.

 

       

                                                                         

For more information, please contact Krisanna Jeffery
1348 Gabriola Dr. Parksville, BC
Canada V9P 2X8

Tel (250) 951-2299 between 9-5 Pacific
fax (250) 947-9920
email krisanna@krisanna.com

Copyright 2003-2004     Krisanna Jeffery      www.Krisanna.com