Krisanna Jeffery
Registered Clinical Counselor, B.S.W, M.Ed
Private Nanoose Office (250) 951-2299
Creating Sexual Goals
Do you think your sex life could be better? According to statistics, the vast majority of North Americans clearly state that their sex lives could be improved. But they’re not as clear on how their sex lives can be enhanced. Partly, that’s because each of us would have a unique vision. What’s yours? We are all individually responsible for creating the lives we want, including our sex lives. So don’t just wait for it to happen by. Take some action today!
This chapter creates an opportunity for you to visualize specifically what changes you want to make to express your sexuality more fully. In regard to general manifesting in my own life, I’ve noticed the following. The rules of manifestation require us to first decide clearly what we want. Without deciding and then clarifying specifically what we desire, change isn’t likely to happen. But making a clear decision with lots of energy behind it will greatly intensify the likelihood of getting what we want. So it’s time to decide and get the universe working to create the sexual life you’d prefer.
Exercise: Sexuality Visualization Exercise
Purpose: To consciously create sexually enhancing experience
Activity: Take some time to visualize in detail what the sex life of your dreams would look like, feel like, sound like, smell like and be like. Include as many details as you can think of, as well as details about the relationship quality attached to the sex. If you are in a sexual partnership, you might consider doing this exercise separately to allow for individual input without the influence of trying to please your partner.
This process is different from fantasy. Fantasy is what you like to think about, not what you’d like to actually do. For example, we might fantasize about having sex with a complete stranger because this turns us on sexually and enhances our experience with an intimate partner. But in real life we may not want or plan to take that risk.
In contrast to fantasy, this process of decision making is how we actually want, and are planning, to act out our sexuality. For example: One thing you might decide is that you’d want to be able to be honest with your partner about your fantasy of having sex with a complete stranger. It’s importance to really understand this difference between fantasy and your desired goal because you don’t want to be actively creating the life you don’t, in reality, want. So be very conscious while doing this exercise and take your time perhaps spreading it over days or weeks. This is the most important step. It’s your life you’re creating.
I encourage you to take your manifesting seriously and write down your goals as they become clear. Nothing will change for you sexually until you decide!